The Humble Cup Of Tea

Of course I’m going to write about tea. I have an accent. I’m British. It’s expected.

Five years since we left the UK and nothing quite defines the difference in culture here in the US than the attitude towards tea.

For a Brit, the offer of a cup of tea masks meaning and depth.

You’re picking up your kid from a play date? The invitation to ‘Come in, have a cup of tea’ actually means ‘let me get to know you better’. You’ve had a bad day? A problem shared is a problem halved, always over a cuppa. You just found out the neighbor three doors down is sleeping with Alice from the PTA’s husband? Quick, sit down, have a cup of tea, let’s relish in the gossip.

For a Brit, the offer of a cup of tea extends easy hospitality and companionship in the intimacy of your home.

For an American, a cup of tea appears to symbolize ceremony and formality. There is an expectation of a china teapot. It will be in the afternoon. It’s likely to be accompanied by calorie-laden naughtiness. It means ‘I will be there for hours’. It has caffeine, for goodness sake. My experience in the US is your invitation for tea more often than not will get rejected.

So I ask my American friends, next time I offer you a cup of tea, don’t question whether you are thirsty. That’s not the point of the invite. Don’t fear an ancient ceremony. You’ll probably get a chipped mug rather than bone china cup and saucer. Don’t think you will be here for hours. 15 minutes is plenty long enough to perhaps uncover a new friendship. It’s a special day if I offer you something to eat. And yes, my tea DOES have caffeine.

Relax, take a deep breath, give yourself a few minutes and step inside. Us Brits really are worth discovering.

Oh, and just so you know, if we are getting picky, anything with fruit or herbs in should never EVER be called ‘tea’ – it’s tisane if you really want to be precise and that’s definitely not on my menu.